“I’m Exhausted” — And Other Ways We Bond Over Burnout
- Tami West, PhD
- Jul 16
- 4 min read
You know that moment when someone says, “I’m so tired,” and without missing a beat you reply, “Me too”?
Even if… you’re not.
I’ve done it.
Not because I wanted to lie.
But because I wanted to belong.
To be seen as responsible.
Capable.
Worthy.
That one little phrase — me too — holds so much weight.
We, especially women, have learned to use stress as a social script. We match exhaustion like we’re trying to match energy — “You’re tired? Same. You’re swamped? Same.” And sometimes, it becomes a competition we never meant to enter.
The Day a Trainer "Allowed" Us to Chew Our Food…
I was observing a wellness seminar full of professional women when the trainer said something simple:
“Ladies - today we're going to give you an hour and a half for lunch! You can actually chew your food!”
And the room burst out laughing.
Not a little giggle — I mean head-back, elbow-jabbing, “Oh yeah right!” laughter. Because who has time to chew?
That moment stuck with me. It was funny, but also deeply telling.
We’ve made burnout a badge of honor.
And that’s why I wrote The Stress Club.
Welcome to the Stress Club (But Also… Please Don’t Join)
The Stress Club isn’t a real place, but it might as well be. It’s the invisible circle of women bonding over exhaustion, overwork, and self-neglect. I spent years studying the language women use around stress — and what I found shaped my book and my heart.
Discursive psychology (don’t worry, that’s just a fancy term for studying how we talk) opened my eyes to how much we build our identity through phrases like
“Must be nice” (a subtle way of judging someone else’s rest)
“I’m just so slammed” (a way of signaling value)
“Me too” (a tool for connection, even when we’re not being fully honest)
These aren’t just phrases. They’re scripts.
Scripts that keep us stuck.
Let’s Flip the Script
What if we connected through honesty instead of hustle?
What if, instead of “me too,” we said, “I’m here for you”?
What if, instead of “must be nice,” we said, “I’m learning to want that for myself too”?
I know it’s not easy. Rest feels rebellious. Self-care feels selfish.
But you are allowed to chew your food.
You are allowed to rest.
And you are absolutely allowed to step out of the Stress Club.
And don’t worry: ways to rewrite the script are coming soon!!
📥 BONUS: Don’t forget to download the 5 Micro-Rituals to Step Out of the Stress Club!
If this resonated with you, hit reply or come find me on socials and let me know:
Which phrase resonates with you most?
Below is a list of tools for you based on my topics this week. Engage with the full resources mentioned this week in my Resource Vault
I’d love to hear from you. And if you missed any of the social posts, you can check them out on Facebook or grab your free downloads from the Resource Vault.
Keep the Conversation Going!
Which of these topics helped you most this week? Drop a comment below or send me a message—I love hearing your stories. And if you want downloadable quote cards, images, or deep-dive guides for any of these posts, just let me know!
Love & Hugs,
Tami
Social Media Links
Mental Health Resources:
Tami West, PhD
Stress and Mental Health Expert Dr. Tami West uses her entertaining and compelling style to shine a new light on how to transform your life and discover solutions to life’s challenges.
Tami has worked in a variety of industries including healthcare, school nutrition, corporate sales, and 10 years as a public-school teacher. In 2013 she received her PhD in Human Development, studying the connections among stress, emotions, and identity.
Dr. West has spoken in 48 states across the US, as well as the United Kingdom, Australia, and New Zealand. In any given year, Tami speaks to groups with audiences consisting of anywhere from 100 to 3,000 people.
Dr. West is the author of several successful publications including three books: The Stress Club, Life Without the Monsters and Thrive. When she's not speaking or writing, you might find her with her traveling with her husband and family, reading historical fiction, or watching Big Bang Theory.
Tami connects with audiences through real experience, cutting edge research, and transparent stories – all sprinkled with humor! She will make you laugh, cry, and shine a refreshingly new light on life's challenges.
Television Interviews
Contact Tami at tamiwest@tamiwest.com
Comments