Comparison: The Holiday Peace Project Part 2
- Tami West, PhD
- 26 minutes ago
- 5 min read
Welcome to Consider Yourself Hugged! Click below to watch or Click here to listen to Episode 216.
Welcome back to The Holiday Peace Project! In this episode, me and Michelle get really honest about comparison and perfectionism during the holidays, the beautifully decorated homes, the “hostess of the year” vibes, and the quiet little voice that says, “You’re not doing enough.” We share our own stories (including hash brown casserole made in a condo bathroom sink 🙃), dig into the science behind comparison, and offer simple, research-based tools to help you trade performance for presence this season.
What We Talk About
Our own holiday comparison stories: gorgeous multi-tree homes, book club hosting, and why I’ve let go of “doing it all.”
The “hash brown casserole in the bathroom sink” story and how dropping perfection made the memory better, not worse.
The science of comparison:
40+ social comparisons a day
Upward vs. downward comparison
Why it works like a slot machine in your brain
How early messages (like Michelle’s mom saying, “Nobody’s better than you, and you’re not better than anyone else”) shape how we see ourselves.
Social media and mood: image pressure, “perfect” holiday posts, and why limiting screen time can help.
Tools we love:
The How We Feel app
Gratitude in whatever format works for you
Writing down 3 small wins a day to quiet perfectionism
5 simple shifts: pause before you scroll, digital quiet time, replace comparison with curiosity, trade performance for presence, and end your day with three things you appreciate.
🎄 More Holiday Peace Project Trivia: Laugh, Learn & Lighten Up!
1. Which country is traditionally credited with starting the Christmas tree tradition?
2. The average person spends about how many hours prepping, decorating, and cleaning during the holiday season (Nov–Dec)?
3. In what century did Christmas cards become popular in the United States?
4. What famous Christmas song was originally written for Thanksgiving?
5. Which U.S. state was the first to recognize Christmas as an official holiday?
6. In the song “The Twelve Days of Christmas,” how many total gifts are given?
7. What color were Santa’s robes most commonly depicted as before red became standard in modern advertising?
8. Which country is known for the tradition of the Christmas witch “La Befana” delivering gifts?
9. What popular holiday plant actually belongs to the cactus family?
10. In what decade did the modern artificial Christmas tree (with aluminum or PVC needles) become a popular home item?
✅ Next episodes:
CYH 217: Grief (next week)
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As we've always asked in the past, please pass the show link along to your friends and subscribe, download, and review wherever you are listening. If you’re a woman and you haven’t joined our private FB group A Place for Women, please do that now! It’ll be your source of encouragement. I'd love for you to follow my Tami West Seminars Facebook page as well. If you'd like to know more about my Mental Health First Aid Courses, contact me at 615-497-7714 or tamiwest@tamiwest.com.
And next season, Consider Yourself Hugged 😘🤗
*Disclaimer:
If you are having thoughts of self harm, suicide, or despair, please reach out to 988 or 911. The information in this show is not intended to be therapy or to address your individual situation. It is information based on experiences, opinions, and research. If you need further help, please reach out to one of the resources here, or others in your area.
Mental Health Resources:
Michelle Kixmiller, MSN, MAE, RN, APN, PMHNP-BC
Michelle Kixmiller is a Board Certified Psychiatric Mental Health Nurse Practitioner and Licensed Educator. She works with children and adults with mental health needs including depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder, ADHD, autism, schizophrenia, and obsessive compulsive disorder. Michelle served as a public school teacher and science department chair for over a decade when a family tragedy pulled her in a different direction. The death of her younger brother after a multiple year battle with depression and alcoholism led her to pursue a career in the mental health field. She went back to school to become a registered nurse graduating and gaining experience as a critical care nurse at a level 1 regional burn center prior to completing a graduate degree to become a mental health nurse practitioner. Her vision is holistic care through teamwork to create a more peaceful school environment for students and staff alike. No one should have to struggle alone. Michelle currently works full time for a non-profit community mental health center at an outpatient clinic and works PRN for an inpatient crisis stabilization unit. When not at work she loves spending time with family, traveling, watching movies (not scary ones), running (slowly), and Crossfit. Contact Michelle at Silver Lining Psychiatric Solutions, 615-378-7713 or mkixmill@gmail.com.
Tami West, PhD
Stress and Mental Health Expert Dr. Tami West uses her entertaining and compelling style to shine a new light on how to transform your life and discover solutions to life’s challenges.
Tami has worked in a variety of industries including healthcare, school nutrition, corporate sales, and 10 years as a public-school teacher. In 2013 she received her PhD in Human Development, studying the connections among stress, emotions, and identity.
Dr. West has spoken in 48 states across the US, as well as the United Kingdom, Australia, and New Zealand. In any given year, Tami speaks to groups with audiences consisting of anywhere from 100 to 3,000 people.
Dr. West is the author of several successful publications including three books: The Stress Club, Life Without the Monsters and Thrive. When she's not speaking or writing, you might find her with her traveling with her husband and family, reading historical fiction, or watching Big Bang Theory.
Tami connects with audiences through real experience, cutting edge research, and transparent stories – all sprinkled with humor! She will make you laugh, cry, and shine a refreshingly new light on life's challenges.
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Contact Tami at tamiwest@tamiwest.com
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