Welcome back to Consider Yourself Hugged! Click here to listen to Episode 118. OR click YouTube below to watch! (***Disclaimer: I provide these notes as a skeleton for the show - nothing fancy 😄) Click below for the Addressing Stubbornness Worksheet
Last week you might remember I promised you part two of mental health choices in 2023. I am delaying that for a couple of weeks for two reasons: First, I mentioned I would talk about EMDR after my session. I have had to delay that appointment due to some requests related to speaking. Second, I had a health-related issue this week that escalated so fast, and it smacked me in the face with this concept of being stubborn. In fact, it was my husband who used to the word, and now I have to self-reflect – ugh 😊
What does it mean to be stubborn? Cambridge dictionary
says: A stubborn person is determined to do what he or she wants and refuses to do anything else
Is it always bad? No. We can come up with lots of good examples:
Knowing what you want in a relationship
Reaching goals
Pursuing a dream
Although there are some positives, we typically think of it as a bad thing when we use the word. I was listening to a podcast recently and they mentioned a few ways that it’s not positive:
If it comes from a place of ignorance
If it comes from a need for control, hence it’s fear-based
If it’s a form of manipulation
If it’s a self-esteem issue or ego-related
So, how is it hindering you? I read an interesting article, 9 Struggles Of Being A Stubborn Person , and a few things stood out:
You Hate Admitting You Are Wrong. This is THE WORST. ...
Other People Call You Difficult. ...
Once You Make Up Your Mind, That's It. ...
You Hate Asking For Or Accepting Help.
Before I jump in to the help, I want you to think about an issue that you have not taken care of. It could be in the realms we talk about here mostly, mental and emotional. Maybe you have been feeling anxious or depressed for a long time and no, you need to do something, but you haven’t. Emotionally, maybe you are angry at a child, spouse, parents, coworker, etc. It’s affecting you deeply but you haven’t dealt with it. Or physically. Maybe you have high cholesterol I know you need to change your diet but you haven’t. Just pick one.
Take a minute to download the Addressing Stubbornness Worksheet I have created so you can follow along. If you are driving, please don’t do this now, but I promise you it will help to write it out, so do the written part later.
Here we go:
1. What happened?
Please stay to the fax only on this which I understand. Might be challenging if the event happened five years ago or something like that. Avoid things you were thinking or feeling or saying, you should have or could have or any of that. Just describe the situation , it might help if I start with mine so I can make some commentary about what I’m looking for here. On New Year’s Eve I decided to take the Christmas decorations down. I got them all packed up and climbed up into the attic and put everything away. Later that day, my daughter came over and she, my husband, and I Did some room rearranging. What I mean is I wanted to switch my office so we moved everything from the guestroom to my office and switchEd my office into the guestroom. We moved furniture, boxes, etc. I felt a twinge in my back. Monday I began having some pain, and Monday night I slept only a couple of hours because of that pain. Tuesday seemed better. Tuesday night the pain was worse and again I slept a couple of hours. Wednesday seemed OK. Wednesday night even more pain two hours. Thursday was the same and Thursday night was the worst.
2. How did you feel?
Scared, angry, tired, embarrassed
3. What did you think?
It’ll go away. It’ll cost too much to go to the dr. I don’t want to be a baby.
4. What did you do?
I googled it and tried everything: stretches, heat, ice, ibruprofen. I cried, screamed to God, complained…
5. What did you wish you could do but didn’t?
Go to the Dr.
6. Why didn’t you?
Cost, I could do it, they’ll think I just want drugs
7. What’s happening as a result?
I spend 4 nights in pain.
8. What could you try?
Going to the dr.
9. Try It
I went to the doctor!
10. Assess
He did x-rays and diagnosed sciatica and bursitis in my hip. Gave me 2 shots, anti-inflammatory and steroid, and gave me prescriptions for muscle relaxers and anti-inflammatories. He told me I’d feel better by lunch. I went home and took a 2 hour nap AND slept all night Friday night. Wow! I was so grateful.
Unfortunately it didn’t last. Saturday and Sunday were rough. But Monday I called and he changed my prescription and set me up for PT on Wednesday. Monday night was better, and I know it'll just keep healing now that I've taken the appropriate steps!
So what did you learn about your own stubbornness? I hope it's something you'll continue to work on.
Thanks for joining today! As I’ve always asked in the past, please pass the show link along to your friends and subscribe, download, and review wherever you are listening. If you’re a woman and you haven’t joined our private FB group A Place for Women, please do that now! It’ll be your source of encouragement.
And until next time, Consider Yourself Hugged 😘🤗