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What if Our Problems Aren’t "Our" Problems? (What if it’s other people's stuff?)

Welcome back to Consider Yourself Hugged! Click here to listen to Episode 140. OR click YouTube below to watch! (***Disclaimer: We provide these notes as a skeleton for the show - nothing fancy 😄) Be sure to read/watch/listen to Part I before this episode.

The last couple of weeks we have discussed problems and solutions. But what if we view problems through the lens of interpretation?

Join us today as Gracie leads us in a discussion centered on difficult situations and how we view them.

Here are a few nuggets!

  • There aren’t difficult people only difficult situations with different people.

  • We all have our own realities. What is normal for us we often consider normal for everybody else.

  • There is no such thing as truth with a capital T.

  • What is your frame of reference for other peoples difficult behavior?

  • It’s hard to separate behavior from a person. Therefore, we make lots of assumptions.

  • Just to clarify, Tami does have on clothes (and the lessons Gracie pulls from that 😂)

  • Gracies ADHD behavior: It never occurs to her that someone might be offended and how she has developed self-awareness for those things.

  • Do we have people in our lives we trust that can tell us the hard stuff? If not, we can’t get out of our own perspective.

  • It’s to my benefit to shut up 😊

  • Our mental health so often is other people’s stuff – their bad behavior or we take on their stuff.

  • Michelle’s reflection: As a mental health professional, if someone feels terrible, it doesn’t do an ounce of good for her to feel terrible and to be tied up in their emotions. It doesn’t mean she doesn’t care. Same goes for us. Sometimes people hide when they’re struggling. Those are the people who need checked on.

  • Remember: codependency is being the caretaker of someone else’s emotions.

  • Tami’s reflection: Appearing offended – I don’t want that!

  • The person who drives you most crazy is your best teacher! Thank them!

Thanks for joining today! As we’ve always asked in the past, please pass the show link along to your friends and subscribe, download, and review wherever you are listening. If you’re a woman and you haven’t joined our private FB group A Place for Women, please do that now! It’ll be your source of encouragement.

Mental Health Resources: National Alliance of Mental Illness

Thanks for joining today! As we’ve always asked in the past, please pass the show link along to your friends and subscribe, download, and review wherever you are listening. If you’re a woman and you haven’t joined our private FB group A Place for Women, please do that now! It’ll be your source of encouragement.

And until next time, Consider Yourself Hugged 😘🤗


The information in this show is not intended to be therapy or to address your individual situation. It is information based on my experiences, opinions, and research. If you need further help, please reach out to one of the resources mentioned in the show notes.

Michelle Kixmiller, MSN, MAE, RN, APN, PMHNP-BC Michelle Kixmiller is a Board Certified

Psychiatric Mental Health Nurse Practitioner and Licensed Educator. She works with children and adults with mental health needs including depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder, ADHD, autism, schizophrenia, and obsessive compulsive disorder. Michelle served as a public school teacher and science department chair for over a decade when a family tragedy pulled her in a different direction. The death of her younger brother after a multiple year battle with depression and alcoholism led her to pursue a career in the mental health field. She went back to school to become a registered nurse graduating and gaining experience as a critical care nurse at a level 1 regional burn center prior to completing a graduate degree to become a mental health nurse practitioner. Her vision is holistic care through teamwork to create a more peaceful school environment for students and staff alike. No one should have to struggle alone. Michelle currently works full time for a non-profit community mental health center at an outpatient clinic and works PRN for an inpatient crisis stabilization unit. When not at work she loves spending time with family, traveling, watching movies (not scary ones), running (slowly), and Crossfit. Contact Michelle at Silver Lining Psychiatric Solutions, 615-378-7713 or

Grace Lichtenstein, MS

I am an award-winning international speaker/trainer, psychotherapist, coach, consultant, and a huge fan of all things nap-related. For over 25 years, I have been working with individuals and corporate teams to improve their health, become more productive, and reduce their stress. Through my training in both Western and Eastern wellness philosophies (including a BA in Psychology, an MS in Counseling Psychology, and certifications in addiction treatment), I truly have a comprehensive view of "what works". In addition, my diverse experience working with thousands of people in all 50 states and in 25 other countries (ranging from native New Yorkers to Native Alaskans and from the FBI to the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops), has allowed me to pinpoint some of the universal characteristics of successful individuals and teams.

Through my signature online, on-demand coaching program or with one of my live training or speaking sessions, I provide the tools to help almost every individual and team reach their true potential: healthier, more productive, and less stressed.

Contact Gracey at

Tami West, PhD Stress and Mental Health Expert Dr. Tami West uses her entertaining and compelling style to shine a new light on how to transform your life and discover solutions to life’s challenges. Her passion stems from a lifelong battle with an anxiety disorder which has uniquely equipped her to teach, encourage, and motivate others.

Tami has worked in a variety of industries including healthcare, school nutrition, corporate sales, and 10 years as a public-school teacher. In 2013 she received her PhD in Human Development, studying the connections among stress, emotions, and identity. She is so passionate about removing the mental health stigma that she recently became a certified Mental Health First Aid instructor.

Dr. West has spoken in 48 states across the US, as well as the United Kingdom, Australia, and New Zealand. In any given year, Tami speaks to groups with audiences consisting of anywhere from 100 to 3,000 people.

Her audiences are diverse and include Danbury Federal Prison inmates, teachers, administrative assistants, food service, and senior executives at Social Security Administration.

Dr. West is the author of several successful publications including two books: The Stress Club, Life Without the Monsters and Thrive. She is a mother of eight in a blended family and enjoys reading historical fiction, traveling with her husband Tim and family, and watching The Big Bang Theory.

Contact Tami at or follow her at Tami West Seminars.

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Tami West, PhD
Tami West, PhD
02 באוג׳ 2023

What a great discussion that includes understanding ourselves AND reconsidering our thoughts about others' behavior :)

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