🛠️ From Annoyed to Aware: Building Your Emotional Toolkit
- Tami West, PhD
- Jun 25
- 3 min read
Have you ever stubbed your toe, then found yourself 10 minutes later still irritated? We all have moments like that —annoyed, overwhelmed, and kind of confused by how a little thing (like someone leaving a dish in the sink) could set us off.
Those moments have led me into a deeper dive into some of the tools I’ve been learning and sharing online—things that help us shift from reaction to response. Here’s what came up this week:
Distanced Self-Talk:
This one felt weird at first, but trust me—it works. Instead of saying “I’m so upset,” I said, “Tami is feeling overwhelmed right now.” It instantly created space between me and my emotion. It didn’t solve it, but it helped me manage it better.
Doing vs Visualizing:
Visualizing your goals is great—but research shows doing (even small actions) has a stronger effect. I stopped planning and started acting, even if it was just writing one sentence or walking one block. Visualizing does help your brain to calm, so continue to think about that beach or mountain trip!
Happiness = Set Point + Conditions + Choices
This formula stopped me in my tracks. Some of our happiness is wired (S), some comes from life circumstances (C), but a big part (V for voluntary actions) is up to us. Walks, gratitude lists, even silly videos—they matter.
Annoyance vs Trigger:
Annoyances are like gnats. Triggers are like wasp stings. Be careful about calling everything a trigger when some of it Is just life's little irritants. Naming the difference helps us handle things more gracefully.
The Emotional Toolkit:
Let's name our emotional replies: “Power Pause,” “Shield of Silence,” and “Stride & Survive” walk can be legit tools in your mental toolkit. When you name the tools, your brain sees them as real. It makes it easier to grab the right tool when things get tough.
So... what would be in your emotional toolkit? I’d love to hear from you. And if you missed any of the social posts, you can check them out on Facebook or grab your free downloads from the Resource Vault.
Let’s keep building tools together—one small action at a time. Engage with the full resources mentioned this week in my Resource Vault
Keep the Conversation Going!
Which of these topics helped you most this week? Drop a comment below or send me a message—I love hearing your stories. And if you want downloadable quote cards, images, or deep-dive guides for any of these posts, just let me know!
Love & Hugs,
Tami
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Tami West, PhD
Stress and Mental Health Expert Dr. Tami West uses her entertaining and compelling style to shine a new light on how to transform your life and discover solutions to life’s challenges.
Tami has worked in a variety of industries including healthcare, school nutrition, corporate sales, and 10 years as a public-school teacher. In 2013 she received her PhD in Human Development, studying the connections among stress, emotions, and identity.
Dr. West has spoken in 48 states across the US, as well as the United Kingdom, Australia, and New Zealand. In any given year, Tami speaks to groups with audiences consisting of anywhere from 100 to 3,000 people.
Dr. West is the author of several successful publications including three books: The Stress Club, Life Without the Monsters and Thrive. When she's not speaking or writing, you might find her with her traveling with her husband and family, reading historical fiction, or watching Big Bang Theory.
Tami connects with audiences through real experience, cutting edge research, and transparent stories – all sprinkled with humor! She will make you laugh, cry, and shine a refreshingly new light on life's challenges.
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Contact Tami at tamiwest@tamiwest.com
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