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Writer's pictureTami West, PhD

CYH Episode 83: Obsessed With Our Bruises Part II

Welcome to Consider Yourself Hugged: A Place for Women! Click here to listen to Episode 83. (***Disclaimer: We provide these notes as a skeleton for the show - nothing fancy 😄)



Last week we got caught up and I shared my story of being assaulted and car-jacked. Here's the link if you haven't had time to listen yet.


Today it's time to go deeper. I talked briefly about my obsession with my bruise and my sore muscles. We all have external or internal bruises - maybe our only proof that we've been hurt. Today, we work through those obsessions together. So, let's head on to the deeper dive!



Tips for breaking the obsession:

  1. Give yourself time to heal. You have a loss, so take time to grieve. Counseling might help. Sometimes when we analyze ourselves, we come out with the outcome we want. On the flip side, the inner voice of analysis could beat yourself up. So, we might need objectivity!

  2. The impact of others' reactions. What will help this person I’m listening to?

Some statements that don't help:

  • Well if that’d been me...

  • Well at least you’re alive

  • Did he have a weapon

Some statements that would help:

  • How can I help?

  • I'm so sorry you went through that.

  • I'm here for whatever you need.

Listen to Jenny Severson's episode on her cancer journey. She shares some helpful ways to respond to someone in crisis.


4. The word victim - Strong women don’t like to be called victims.

  • The word has a negative connotation

  • It might give the feeling of being out of control

  • Reality is I may not want to say I’ve been a victim, but I have!

  • Victim vs victim mentality

Victim – a person harmed, injured or killed as a result of crime, accident, or other event or action


Victim mentality – the belief that one is always victim. The idea that bad things will always happen to one


5. Identity – I want to be seen as strong! But I'm not always strong, and I don't have to be.


6. Fear/PTSD - totally normal to be fearful for a time! Listen here to Michelle's session on PTSD.

7. Choices: What will I do from here?

a. Be more aware of my surroundings

c. Counseling

d. Keep friends close


Thanks for joining today! As we’ve always asked in the past, please pass the show link along to your friends and subscribe, download, and review wherever you are listening. If you’re a woman and you haven’t joined our private FB group A Place for Women, please do that now! It’ll be your source of encouragement! Finally, click here for Michelle's website to learn more about her practice.


Thank you so much for joining us again and for the upcoming growth of our place for women!


And until next time ladies, Consider Yourself Hugged 😘🤗


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