Tami West, PhD
May 26, 20204 min
***Disclaimer: I am a speaker at heart! These notes are either transcripts of the podcast or notes I made in preparation.Please forgive the inevitable grammar errors š
Welcome friend to Consider Yourself Hugged episode 65. Todayās Hug: Changing Your Course vs Giving Up (And 5 Other Recent Lessons!) Click here or pic to listen!
Iām Dr. Tami West, here every week to bring you tips on living a life that brings you mental and emotional wellbeing.
A couple of things to start this session. First, you may have noticed this is not session 6 of The Stress Club. Although based on number of listens Iām assuming you arenāt noticing at all š I altered my path. I changed my course. I changed my mind. Whatever you want to call it I decided that wasnāt working. Maybe itās because I have more men in the audience than I thought. Maybe itās because people arenāt listening as much during this pandemic. Maybe itās because I really suck! But for whatever reason it wasnāt working. (If you were listening and want the info, itās all in my private Facebook group, The Stress Club. Write me if you want guidance on how to get there!)
Second, I want to be totally raw today. Totally honest. Maybe more honest than Iāve ever been about current situations. Iāve had a bad attitude. I thought about giving up on my career. Iāve been angry. And then I realized Iāve heard not one, not two, but three people talk about the stages of grief during this pandemic. I didnāt realize it until a day or two ago but that is exactly what I have been going through to some degree. I have exactly one speaking engagement for 2020. Well, if you count the one I had in February before all of this, I will have exactly two. Itās hard to know what to do with that. In the beginning I thought, well, this wonāt last for long and Iāll start booking for the fall. Thatās the denial part. Then the anger came, then the bargaining, then the depression (not clinical, but some sadness). And I think Iām moving toward acceptance (but not completely!).
Yesterday my husband and I were having lunch with some friends after church when another church friend came up to say hi. The topic inevitably goes to how youāre doing through this and, of course, work. So that went to losing everything for 2020. And she said āWell Iām glad you will still be able to do your podcast and Facebook lives!ā I couldnāt believe that I actually said this, but I said āOh no Iām done! Iām finished with all of this!ā (I guess anger is not completely gone LOL!). Then she said, āAre you kidding me? You are on my list of people I turn to when I need to be inspired or get past my own bad attitude! Are you telling me thatās not you?!ā We laughed about it and had a good time, but it really stopped me in my tracks.
Hereās the honesty, the rawness: Iāve been speaking and writing for almost 15 years. Iām tired. It feels like starting from scratch. No income. Iāve asked myself, āWhat is a time in my life when I was the happiest in my career?ā Honestly, itās when I had the combination of speaking and also working. During that time I think it kept me connected to the audience. I was experiencing work issues, just like they were. It kept me fresh. It gave me deep relationships. A friend recently asked me if I felt sad because in full-time speaking, Iām often in and out. She asked me if I missed the relationships? Hmm. Maybe I do.
I donāt know exactly what direction Iāll go next, but Iāve been reflecting. Praying. Searching. Seeking. What do I want going forward? What will allow me to have a satisfying career and still serve people? I may jump back into the work world. I would still have the flexibility to do this - the podcast, speaking, writing, Facebook Lives. And Iām getting excited about the possibilities!
So yesterday as I was thinking about the podcast for today, I realized when things arenāt working sometimes youāve got to decide what to do next. And I realize I donāt want to be angry for the rest of this time. There have been so many wonderful things that have happened. So on my walk this morning I processed what those are and wanted to share them with you. I hope they help. (Click here to listen to details in podcast.)
1. Distinguish between altering your path and giving up.
2. Recognize how much our decisions and our very identities are tied to cultural norms.
3. Remember to recognize the sweetness of this time.
4. Life really, really is about relationships and serving others.
5. We all can get by on less than we thought we could.
And sadly, as always, thatās our time for today. I am praying every day for our country, our leaders, everyoneās roles, and people affected. I hope youāll join me in doing that AND in staying mentally and emotionally healthy.
As always, Please pass the show link along to a friend or two and subscribe, download, and review wherever you are listening. And head over to tamiwest.com to get info if youād like me to speak at your next event and also youāll find the promised links and info. And Iād love for you to follow me on Facebook and all those other crazy social media outlets; links are in the show notes. If youāre a woman and you havenāt joined my private FB group The Stress Club, please do that now! Itāll be your daily sources for exiting the life of stress! Link is in the show notes. If you missed the Stress Club free Kindle giveaway, send me a message in any format ā email, social media, text ā and Iād be happy to send you a PDF
Thank you so much for listening and growing our special community!
I pray that each day you remember to love, to serve, to feel worthy, to grow, to connect, to change, and to be the best person you can be for yourself AND for the other humans in your world!
Ā And until next time, Consider Yourself Hugged šš¤
My links:
Facebook page, "The Stress Club" for Women
Phone: 615-497-7714